I'm not going to blog much here tonight. I just wanted to get some of my thoughts down to start. I have been thinking a lot about trust the past week or so. Not because I had a really negative experience. Quite the opposite. Things have been pretty good lately. Trust....
Where do we place our trust? Why do we decide to trust or not trust? Who or what should we place trust in? How do the concepts of trust and faith the same? How are they different?
I really haven't gotten very far yet thinking about these questions and others. But I feel like this is fertile ground for personal, professional, and spiritual growth for me. I think I need to reflect on my history, and understand how trust (well- or ill-placed) has played a role in impacting my growth and development over the years.
Right off the bat, I feel like I need to accept when some of the trust I've had has been violated. And to embrace when trust has paid off. And when I should have trusted and didn't.
This feels really deep to me right now. Like, I really want to explore it and embrace it. Good things can come from this. Thank the Lord for that.
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Deserving More
This week has been my first week back to work since my California vacation. It was my parents 40th wedding anniversary, which is pretty amazing if you ask me. And they decided they wanted the fam to all be together to celebrate, which was doubly awesome. So, I met up with them in Vegas (their pre-anniversary vacation destination), road-tripped it to Cali, and we had a ball.
I'll try to post some pics on Facebook. If you aren't my Facebook friend yet, just send the ol' friend request, and I'll accept. I like having Facebook friends. Then you can maybe see my vacation pictures if I ever post them. :)
It was a blast. We went to San Diego, which is officially one of my favorite places ever. I feel like I barely saw any of it, and it just seems like Heaven on earth to me. It was great to be there, and great to spend the time their with family. We don't see each other nearly enough.
This whole experience is contrasted by work, which honestly, well, I make it a point to not put too many specifics about work in my blog. It's not the appropriate forum for it. I'll just say this...I deserve more. I know on the surface that sounds really selfish. I've had to search my heart a lot about this, and I can't push it aside any longer. God has blessed me with time on this earth to do His will. It is simply not ok to continue the way I have been. It doesn't glorify God, and I'm not being a good steward of what he has blessed me with.
I don't know what the future holds with work. But I do know this...I deserve more, because God deserves better of me. It started crystallizing quickly towards the end of the day. It became clearer during physical therapy. And it finally washed over me like a tidal wave during worship at Immersion tonight. Which, by the way, I don't go to nearly enough. I love worship at Immersion.
Anyway, I'm feeling calm about it again now. Calm, as in, I see a direction that I need to take, and I feel good about it. Submitting to God is such a relief. I pray that I can continue to seek His will for my life, and that I pursue it relentlessly.
What's really awesome in this little God discussion I'm having is that this week has been bookended by not only Immersion tonight, but Taste of Hope last weekend, as well as worship last weekend. I am very blessed by all of these experiences.
Tomorrow, I'm off to St. Paul again for a little work and a lot of play. I love that city dag nabbit. It's always a good time. Before I sign off, I'd like to post another music video. Music is just such a huge part of all our lives, I like to share what's moving me. This video is to a song I just heard for the first time. It's a great worship song. Really put me at ease tonight. I hope you enjoy.
I'll try to post some pics on Facebook. If you aren't my Facebook friend yet, just send the ol' friend request, and I'll accept. I like having Facebook friends. Then you can maybe see my vacation pictures if I ever post them. :)
It was a blast. We went to San Diego, which is officially one of my favorite places ever. I feel like I barely saw any of it, and it just seems like Heaven on earth to me. It was great to be there, and great to spend the time their with family. We don't see each other nearly enough.
This whole experience is contrasted by work, which honestly, well, I make it a point to not put too many specifics about work in my blog. It's not the appropriate forum for it. I'll just say this...I deserve more. I know on the surface that sounds really selfish. I've had to search my heart a lot about this, and I can't push it aside any longer. God has blessed me with time on this earth to do His will. It is simply not ok to continue the way I have been. It doesn't glorify God, and I'm not being a good steward of what he has blessed me with.
I don't know what the future holds with work. But I do know this...I deserve more, because God deserves better of me. It started crystallizing quickly towards the end of the day. It became clearer during physical therapy. And it finally washed over me like a tidal wave during worship at Immersion tonight. Which, by the way, I don't go to nearly enough. I love worship at Immersion.
Anyway, I'm feeling calm about it again now. Calm, as in, I see a direction that I need to take, and I feel good about it. Submitting to God is such a relief. I pray that I can continue to seek His will for my life, and that I pursue it relentlessly.
What's really awesome in this little God discussion I'm having is that this week has been bookended by not only Immersion tonight, but Taste of Hope last weekend, as well as worship last weekend. I am very blessed by all of these experiences.
Tomorrow, I'm off to St. Paul again for a little work and a lot of play. I love that city dag nabbit. It's always a good time. Before I sign off, I'd like to post another music video. Music is just such a huge part of all our lives, I like to share what's moving me. This video is to a song I just heard for the first time. It's a great worship song. Really put me at ease tonight. I hope you enjoy.
Monday, June 1, 2009
The Luxery of Ceiling Fans and Other Misguided Desires
This may sound like a bit of a broken record, but I'm really wanting to get back into this blog a bit. We'll see how I do.
Pastor Mike gave a really good sermon on Sunday about the Psalms. He was actually introducing the first of several sermons based on the Psalms. It's not up on the web yet. But if you go here and look for the sermon dated 2009.05.30, you'll be in the right place. It should be up in the next day or two I'd guess.
Anywho, Pastor always makes several great points during his sermons. One that really stuck with me is how beautiful the Psalms are. I have to admit, I've tried to dig into Psalms several times, with this anticipation of how great they are supposed to be. But then, I just can't get into it. Which stinks, because I'd really like to get into them. So, I'm giving it another shot.
This is actually the segway into my real points of this blog.
Expectations. We all have them. Growing up, like most every little child I've ever met, my expectations were usually pretty high. I'd like to believe I was an optimist. I think I still am, actually, by most accounts. Sometimes my expectations we met or exceeded, and other times not at all. Typical stuff. The thing that's getting me right now, at this point in my life, is how even when my expectations are met or exceeded with something, I tend to milk it so much that the thing I was enjoying so much no longer meets my expectations.
Here is a good example. I happened across this video a while back.
This video is just so beautiful on so many levels. Musically. Lyrically. And just watching God be so present in what is happening. I feel like I can see see this so clearly just by the expression on David Crowder's face. It's a beauty I can't describe. So what do I do...I sit and play it over and over and over again until I can't see the beauty as it once was. I just saturate myself to the point that I'm actually numb to everything else around me as well.
Back to Pastor's sermon. He talked about taking your time when you read the Psalms, to just be bathed in them. I am not good at this. Taking my time, just letting God lead the way. It has to be on my time, my terms. I feel so much better when I turn everything off, and just soak up the silence. Be present in God's word in the Bible, or in the other aspects of His creation.
I was sitting on my couch a couple of days ago, before Pastor's sermon actually. I was feeling a little warm, so I turned on my ceiling fan. I just sat there, windows open, ceiling fan on, everything else turned off. I just stared at my ceiling fan for a while, felt the cool breeze slowly sweep over me. It was heavenly. I just sat there, thinking "I can't believe someone was so awesomely inspired as to invent this luxurious invention known as the ceiling fan." Seriously, I just thought it was the most luxurious thing one could own, this thing that keeps you cool when you get too hot. I felt comfortable and blessed. Once I sat and enjoyed the fan for a few minutes, I went on to get some work done. And it wasn't too stressful or anything. I just did it. It was fine.
My point: enjoy all of God's blessings, no matter how big or small they may seem. Sounds easy enough, but it is SO HARD for me to do. But I have been encouraged by these events. So much so as to blog about it. As soon as I'm done with this blog, I'm going to turn on some more Jars music, sit in the dark for a bit, and then read some Psalms. Life is pretty good, I must say.
Pastor Mike gave a really good sermon on Sunday about the Psalms. He was actually introducing the first of several sermons based on the Psalms. It's not up on the web yet. But if you go here and look for the sermon dated 2009.05.30, you'll be in the right place. It should be up in the next day or two I'd guess.
Anywho, Pastor always makes several great points during his sermons. One that really stuck with me is how beautiful the Psalms are. I have to admit, I've tried to dig into Psalms several times, with this anticipation of how great they are supposed to be. But then, I just can't get into it. Which stinks, because I'd really like to get into them. So, I'm giving it another shot.
This is actually the segway into my real points of this blog.
Expectations. We all have them. Growing up, like most every little child I've ever met, my expectations were usually pretty high. I'd like to believe I was an optimist. I think I still am, actually, by most accounts. Sometimes my expectations we met or exceeded, and other times not at all. Typical stuff. The thing that's getting me right now, at this point in my life, is how even when my expectations are met or exceeded with something, I tend to milk it so much that the thing I was enjoying so much no longer meets my expectations.
Here is a good example. I happened across this video a while back.
This video is just so beautiful on so many levels. Musically. Lyrically. And just watching God be so present in what is happening. I feel like I can see see this so clearly just by the expression on David Crowder's face. It's a beauty I can't describe. So what do I do...I sit and play it over and over and over again until I can't see the beauty as it once was. I just saturate myself to the point that I'm actually numb to everything else around me as well.
Back to Pastor's sermon. He talked about taking your time when you read the Psalms, to just be bathed in them. I am not good at this. Taking my time, just letting God lead the way. It has to be on my time, my terms. I feel so much better when I turn everything off, and just soak up the silence. Be present in God's word in the Bible, or in the other aspects of His creation.
I was sitting on my couch a couple of days ago, before Pastor's sermon actually. I was feeling a little warm, so I turned on my ceiling fan. I just sat there, windows open, ceiling fan on, everything else turned off. I just stared at my ceiling fan for a while, felt the cool breeze slowly sweep over me. It was heavenly. I just sat there, thinking "I can't believe someone was so awesomely inspired as to invent this luxurious invention known as the ceiling fan." Seriously, I just thought it was the most luxurious thing one could own, this thing that keeps you cool when you get too hot. I felt comfortable and blessed. Once I sat and enjoyed the fan for a few minutes, I went on to get some work done. And it wasn't too stressful or anything. I just did it. It was fine.
My point: enjoy all of God's blessings, no matter how big or small they may seem. Sounds easy enough, but it is SO HARD for me to do. But I have been encouraged by these events. So much so as to blog about it. As soon as I'm done with this blog, I'm going to turn on some more Jars music, sit in the dark for a bit, and then read some Psalms. Life is pretty good, I must say.
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